Metamorphosis
by NightingaleBlooms
Summary: Maybe this would teach you not to believe in things…..Maybe Riley should have known that once those words were spoken, more specifically towards her, that things would start to change. AU. T for now.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:Chapter 1

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Metamorphosis

Chapter 1

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Maybe this would teach you not to believe in things…..

Maybe Riley should have known that once those words were spoken, more specifically towards her, that things would start to change. Not that they haven't already. But more as if she started to change. It wasn't pre planned, maybe to the celestial being or beings up there or down here they knew what will happened. But Riley didn't. And Riley knew that no one expected her to change the way she did. And Farkle, he was the one who said those words, and Lucas who in his head affected her with his words though she will never admit it, might have felt as if they were the ones who started the ball rolling and catalyst her change. But this was a long time coming. Metamorphosis was coming towards her.

Ava Morgernstern's dad just left. Riley liked Ava. The girl had spunk and while her rough and slightly rude demeanor gave for a slightly impressionable first impression; Riley always believed that the girl was something. And something she was. Riley could see how affected she was by her dad leaving, she saw years ago when Maya's dad left, but Ava had managed to put a brave front and still allowed for Auggie to see her soul. Ava could still become who she was meant to be. Even without her dad. Maya certainly did.

So Riley did the Riley thing and took care of her. She wanted Ava to grow and become everything that Ava could be. With that in mind she spent more time with Auggie and Ava then she did in middle school. Riley divided her time between Ava and Auggie, Maya, her family and her friends and the other activities that she decided to sink her hands into.

She was alright with her friends. They had all made peace with what happened at the beginning of high school. They were as close as they could be but they were all growing and changing. Sometimes one of them drifted away for a while but they came back. Everyone moved except maybe her. It happened separately and simultaneously for all them. But Riley was constant, at least that was what she thought the others view her as. But her views of the world changing slowly. And she wasn't scared of that. In fact that quiet growth gave her this calm quiet force that was not easily trampled. Whatever obstacles she faced Riley knew for certain that there is tomorrow and tomorrow was limitless. With that in mind she never felt the need to give up or give in to whatever it was that was suppose to be the bane of her current teenage life.

Soon enough 6 months had passed. It was one of those days where somehow everyone was together at Topanga's and doing their own thing. Her parents were situated at the counter. Katy wasn't in today but that didn't stop Maya from claiming a table to herself. She had an art elective project while Zay was at the same table watching videos on his phone. Farkle and Lucas were probably doing school work at a table close by. She used the term probably because she really didn't know. They could be discussing video games for all she knew. Riley was with Auggie and Ava helping them with their school projects. They were suppose to do built a diorama of the solar system. Riley was told that the best diorama will be given a special price. Ava and Auggie obviously were a competitive duet.

"So Jupiter will be here," Riley said as she placed the small big planet on its holder letting Auggie glue it with the hot glue gun.

"I like Mars," Ava announced. Her voice carried over the whole shop.

"Do you know in ancient times people associated mars with the god of war?" Riley said. She didn't at all want Ava to feel as if she was being patronised but wanted offer small little interesting facts. After months of being on babysitting duty she had a knack of collecting facts that she thought would be interesting for Auggie and Ava.

"Well what about love?" Auggie asked

"That's Venus, I think," Riley said. She will need to google that one later. And give a relevant explanation about ancient times and when people believed in warlocks and gods and legends.

"What about Pluto?" Ava asked.

"Pluto is not a planet silly," Riley said absentmindedly helping Auggie hold Neptune down so Auggie could glue it. She didn't know that what she said, while they hold no significance to her at this point of time, captured the attention of her group of friends. Her group of friends who were looking at one another with confusion before settling on eavesdropping on the conversation.

"Why not?" Ava asked.

"It used to be but it's not anymore," Riley explained while looking for the cap of the hot glue gun.

"Will it become a planet again?" Ava asked

"I wouldn't put your hopes up," Riley said as she placed the last detail on their diorama, "Okay so we are done. I think your teacher would like this very much."

"I think my mom would like it too. Auggie you want to follow me to show mom?" Ava beamed.

"Sure" Auggie replied.

"You guys can pack up here. I need to grab my bag and then we can head towards the apartment" Riley said as she made her way to the tables that her friends were at. She could hear Auggie's and Ava's okays as she turned to collect her stuff from the table her friends were situated at.

"Riley" Farkle called out for her attention.

"Hold on," Riley said looking distractedly at Farkle before she faced the direction of the counter and called out, "Mom I'm going to bring Auggie and Ava home."

Riley barely paid attention to her mom's reply, she was grabbing and stuffing all her things in her bag. She had so much things that she needed to do. There was an english essay and some maths and she had a biology quiz tomorrow. After she dropped Ava off, she needed to study.

"Riley," Farkle called out more urgently.

"What?" Riley said finally facing him, not understanding why he looked so dumbfounded. As if she was giving him a complicated puzzle.

"You just said that Pluto is not a planet" Farkle said.

"It's not" Riley said silencing him. She felt something shift between her and her group of friends. Did they feel it too?

"But to you it is" Zay supplied. The rest of the group were quietly soaking up this revelation.

"I mean I was 12," Riley said feeling a little embarrassed about how she put so much of her time in Pluto, "You can change your opinions." Riley looked to where Auggie and Ava were. They were almost done and she was pretty sure they were going to be bored and restless if she didn't move now. It had nothing to do with the fact that she didn't want to be analysed by her friends, "I have to go, I'm pretty sure those two have no problems getting into trouble. See you guys in school."

She didn't give much time for her friends to speak before going back to the kids. It was only when she reached home after sending Ava off did she realise the enormity of her words. Pluto is not a planet.

She made her peace with the fact that she was no artist and no scientist(not to Farkle and Isadora's calibre). She was not physically gifted hence not a cheerleader. She was just not. That was the way she defined herself. Not this, not that. Not enough and in the back of her mind that might be the reason why she is too much for some people. Talk about mental overcompensation.

She didn't want to be a not. She didn't want to feel that word being the reason why she was so unhappy. So she did things. And she found out that it was so much more fun to do things then think about things. Thoughts never helped anyone unless they become actions.

So she didn't think about 'girlfriend' and 'girl friend'. She didn't think when people automatically assumed her naive and stupid. Let them think what they wanted. She just moved forward. It wasn't like before when she had blindfaith. She knows how to dip her toes in and test waters. She starts knowing how to read people or at least know what they will do. But she doesn't tell anyone about that particular talent. Instead she writes and writes and writes. She writes until 2 in the morning before her eyes force her closed.

And she reads. She reads a lot. It is only in these two places will she allow herself to hope and imagine. It is there she believes good and right and that characters could be more. That she could be more and no one says she is too much or she should stop believing. Where who she is is more than enough and that is not a bad thing.

That part of her is closed to the world but one day she hopes she can open to someone. It didn't need to be a boy that she is going to fall in love with but a person. Someone she could talk that was a neutral party that knew nothing of her past or future. Their only interaction would be the now they created. And she would show them the places that she discovered alone when she deliberately misses her train stop home and allows herself to discover the world through her eyes and her eyes alone. Unfiltered from her parents thoughts and her friends opinion. It was freeing and she craved it more than she would care to admit.

Pluto was not a planet. And she was okay with that.

"Dad wants to come back" Ava said, "What do I do?"

There was a pause. Riley could see her parents giving communicating through looks. The boys, well most of them don't really know how to talk to a little girl, kept their mouth silent. Shawn looks like he wants to say something but is looking at Katy and Maya. Probably to make sure they are alright given that once upon a time they were in this position.

Time had passed since that day at Topanga's. Things were the same and yet different. Riley wishes Uncle Eric or Josh was here. Uncle Eric knew what to say and Josh well even if he didn't he knew how to keep you distracted. Maya was the first one to speak.

"You give him a chance," Maya said. Her answer might have surprised everyone but not Riley. It was no secret that her and Kermit's relationship had deteriorated. Maya still saw him every once in awhile but those meetings were tense and awkward and always ended with her and Maya having a sleepover with lots of junk food and ice could see how everyone would view it as brave. However Riley knew that Maya would always want family, "It's not going to be the same but he is still family. You don't give up on family. Your mom and dad are going to have to talk a lot but you and your dad, your relationship with him is not suppose to end because of your mom. Don't give up on him."

Riley could see the pride that resided in everyone's eyes. She saw the way Lucas looked at Maya. She couldn't place the emotion and honestly she was tired of over analysing every single thing being said and done. She was glad that Maya was able to give that advice. She was glad how far Maya had come. But what she didn't like was the feeling that came over when she watched her parents, her godfather look at Maya like that. She didn't like how she felt, she was suppose to be supportive. But those looks made her feel as she was never going to be good enough. That regardless of how much she reached, it would just be slightly out of her grasped.

"Riley," Ava turned to her. There was a need for affirmation. For the past year, Riley made sure that Auggie and Ava were okay. Not as kids or the couple they are but as individual people. There were nights where Ava and/or Auggie would crawl underneath her covers and she would hold them. In the morning when she wakes up they would be peacefully asleep and she would quietly get ready for the day. Ava doesn't mention those nights and neither does she but there was a kinship between them. Riley would do a lot for that little girl. If she said yes, Ava would give her dad a chance. Her words were going to impact this little girl. Which was why she hoped she was doing the right thing.

"Have you ever heard of the phrase fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me," Riley asked as she moved to sit in front of Ava. Ava automatically closed the gap and allowed Riley to hold her. It took all of Riley's willpower to ignore the confusion on everyone's faces and focus on Ava. This was, after all, about her. Ava shook her head.

"The first time someone hurts you it's on them," Riley said trying to explain, "The second time it's on you." Riley paused to let the words sink in. Riley knew that she wasn't really explaining this right and spoke up once more, "I'm not trying to tell you not to give your dad a chance. I'm trying to tell you to protect your heart. Because no one is going to protect it the way you do."

Riley knew that her stance was going to be somewhat confusing to the people in the room. Her family and friends probably thought she would say yes and give Ava rainbows and magic and happily ever after. She wished she could to.

"I don't know that to do," Ava confessed. Riley could here the confusion in her voice. She wished she could make it go away.

"That's okay," Riley said hugging Ava a little tighter before speaking up again, "This is not just about your dad."

It wasn't a question. It was a fact and Riley looked at Ava trying to convey that whatever it is that was bothering her is not dumb or stupid.

"What if mom leaves this time?" Ava said softly. She knew that no one else hear that. It was only meant for her.

"Do you love your mom?" Riley asked. Her voice was soft but it was heard through the silent room.

"Yes why wouldn't I," Ava said looking at Riley trying to figure out what was coming next.

"Do you love your dad?" Riley continued. There was a silence. Everyone was waiting for Ava's answer.

"I don't like that he left us," Ava finally admitted.

"What type of relationships you have with people is not only up to you. Its up to them too. He might want you back and you can forgive him if you want to," Riley said, "If you don't then don't.

"What if I don't know what to choose?"

"Then you move forward," Riley advised, "Let him be a part of your past. And just focus on what is important to you now."

"You'll be here right? Even if i choose wrong?" Ava asked. There was something in her eyes that reminded me of who she used to be a long time ago. Afraid of the uncertainty of tomorrow. Riley didn't comment that Ava could never choose wrong. Instead she ran her fingers through Ava's hair.

"For as long as I can," Riley replied.

"So can we talk about your take on the advice you gave Ava?" Riley heard Maya start. Riley sighed and faced the impending slaughter she was about to receive. Ava's mom had collected Ava and Auggie who were heading towards the movie theaters. That left her alone in a room of people who were no doubt about to start asking questions.

"What about it?" Riley said as she made her way to the kitchen area. It was nearer to her room as compared to the living room.

"It's a little bit too harsh don't you think," Maya tried. It made Riley frown. She was tired of trying. She was also annoyed that just because Maya was very similar to Ava, everything that had the slightest hint of broken families was under Maya's jurisdiction. In the past it might have made Riley feel small but now it didn't. Because Riley knew where she stood.

"No," Riley said honestly, "If I were her, I would want to know the truth and not a sweetly covered white lie."

"Riley," Shawn intervened, "I think what Maya is trying to say is that Ava is young and we should let her hope for the best. We can't destroy her hopes. Every girl should have a family.

She should have conceded, the adults were getting involved and it was startling clear whose side they agreed on, even if her parents were just watching.

"Every girl should," Riley agreed before saying, "But I think that at all of us can agree not all family comes from blood." She wanted to throw it into Shawn and Maya's face that they should obviously know "Blood isn't that much thicker than water. I rather let her know what she is getting herself into. I rather prepare her."

"Come on Riley' she's young," Zay piped in, "She should be believing in fairytales and dreams coming true. She's a little girl."

She was once a little girl, Riley thought and look how everything turned out, "Exactly. She is a little girl. The faster she learns about how the world truly is. The better."

"Since when did Maya become the hopeful dreamer and you," Lucas trailed off realising what he was about to say. Whatever had happened in the beginning of high school was over, she left those bitter feelings along time ago but the way this was playing out reminded her of what had happened. She felt her heart clench just a bit and refused to feel hurt. At least not where she is being watched.

"Cynical?" Riley offer sarcastically, "I'm not. I'm just being more realistic about things"

"Riley, this is not you," Maya said. Riley could see it in her eyes that Maya truly believed that there was something wrong. She could see it in all of her friends' eyes except for Farkle. Farkle was the only one beside her parents that kept quiet about the whole ordeal.

"I'm getting really tired of hearing that," Riley said before announcing to the room, "I'm going to my room."

Riley left the crowded living room area and went to her room. She was trying to get a grip on her feelings. This wasn't fair. She didn't want to be this overly emotional mess that they assumed she would be. They are probably in the living room saying that Maya was right and wondering what is happening to her. There will probably be a knock on the door and an intrusion where they ask if everything is alright. Because god forbid her thinking anything less of what is good and wasn't fair. At all. Since when did Maya become…

It felt as everyone wanted to her to be the sun. Always bright always shiny. They will complain if she's not around as much they will complain if she there too often. The moon well the moon is exclusive. And few have seen all it has to offer. And now that she thought about it she can't stop thinking. She feels herself being so restricted in the room and she wants to be free. She didn't want another whole questioning or for her to bare out all her feelings because they are finally seeing something has changed. She looked at the wall clock; it was only 6:30pm. Without thinking she grabbed her phone, her metro card and some cash and exited her bay window. It was time to be free.

* * *

Okay hi all. So this is a new story. It started off as some scenes that I wrote down but did not fit into any of the stories that I was previously working on, so I just wrote this. I have not wrote down or planned out this story at all so I think I would be just as surprised as you guys would be at the direction of how the story would go. I have zero clue how many chapters this would be or how fast I would update this (I'm still writing the story line for the sequel of my other story) but if you like it well I'm glad I could make you happy. So this is an AU sort of story, I mean most fanfictions are. And now I'm just rambling. Well hope you guys like this, see you all the next time I post :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:Chapter 2

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Metamorphosis

Chapter 2

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As her feet landed on the hard pavement, paranoia set in. Riley knew that she had to leave this place as quick as possible if she didn't want to get spotted. It was easy blending in as another person in the crowded streets of New York. Everyone had someplace they were going to even if they don't. Riley had a specific place mind.

The building she was going to was this old abandoned hotel rooftop that at its location she could see this amazing view of the New York horizon. She discovered it one of the times she decided to miss her stop and explore what New York had to offer. It was an amazing find and she went back countless of times since then.

She counted the stops to see how long she had and checked her phone before setting it to the flight mode. She didn't want to be tracked. She would handle her parents wrath later. She would be back before her curfew but she knew that her parents would probably have some choice words for her just leaving without giving any notice.

The abandoned hotel rooftop is not totally abandon. Every once in awhile she would see other people. For the most part, all of them minded their own business; there was this unspoken rule where even if they were at the same place they don't interact unless it was deemed necessary. She had spotted an amazing street artist a while back and she had wanted to offer her praise of his amazing work but there was this concentration in his eyes as if he was revisiting memories. As if he was seeing things and he painted to let go of the regrets that he harboured. She wanted to ask what he thinks about and wanted to talk about Maya's talent but she didn't. Riley had left him alone with whatever it was that consumed him. There was other people too like the 20 year old something girl. She moved and danced and effortlessly looking so beautiful and pure. Her eyes were often glazed over, like she was seeing beyond. Riley had exchanged words with her once. It was more of the girl stopping from her movements and looking at Riley before saying quietly, "Keep your head up."

And what did Riley do here? Riley looked at the horizon. Sometimes she will bring something to write but for the most part she looked. This wasn't the hole or whatever the undefined spaced between the two staircase was called. It wasn't the view from ground up. It was the view of skies and buildings and parks and trees and cars all merging into one. It made her feel small. Not in the depressing morbid way but it made her feel as if whatever happens she could make it through, that she could truly be limitless.

The view by the time she got there was still worth it. The sun was about to set and it casted a pinky-orange glow on the world. One day she would wake up before dawn and watch the sun reach out into the waking world. One day she might truly get rid of the ugliness she felt when she was with the company of her friends. The feeling that she might not belong there with them. It was a dark secret that she kept and Riley knew that this was one of the many secrets that she would try her hardest to keep out of the light of day.

There were sounds of scruff marks and deep breathing. Riley was more alert since it was nighttime and she was alone. New York was not exactly the safest place in the world. But then again with the state of the world she truly wondered if anywhere was safe anymore. She was walking around Brooklyn bridge. There were a few locals and a fair bit of tourist lurking around but it was not as packed as it was during a weekend. She could easily see most people in her field of view including the figure ahead of her. Did no one else notice what the person was doing? That he was standing on the ledge about to jump off a bridge? Did anyone care? Riley felt panic set in before she quickly made her way towards him.

"What are you doing?" She asked hesitantly.

"I'm not going to jump idiot," the boy said still eyes closed. She could see his silhouette, dark against the night. "I'm just standing here."

Riley took a deep breath, she was not an idiot and she is not going to let those words bother her although she would never admit it out loud, stung a little, "Well that was mean but you could hurt yourself up there."

"Yeah I've been doing this for awhile," the guy said carelessly, "Why don't you mind your own business."

"Well excuse you." Riley had never felt so offended in her life. She was about to stalk away when she realised she had nothing to actually be mad about. She was the one that kept bothering him not the other way around. If someone kept pestering her wouldn't she want them to go away too? She should leave him to be but he had captured her attention. She was intrigued.

"What do you do when you are up there?" Riley asked curiously.

The guy finally turned to her and opened up his eyes. They were the most unique shade of greyish blue she had ever seen. Not like Maya's blue that everyone around says that was stunning but this darkish grey. He was around her age and he was rather good looking even if he was looking at her in annoyance. And he looked familiar. As if she had seen him from somewhere before.

"You are really not getting the idea that I want to be alone, do you?" He asked sarcastically.

Riley shrugged her shoulders before asking, "Can I join you?"

The guy paused, his jaw would probably be on the floor if this was a cartoon Riley thought amusedly. The guy collected himself before giving her a look and then said in a surprisingly agreeable tone, "Sure why not."

Riley looked around to see how he could possibly got up there. There was this ledge thing which he could have used. Climbing on it was hard and she was surprised that the guy actually helped her out. When she finally stood up she immediately understood why he called her an idiot. Beneath them was a pavement sorts of thing, high enough to hurt maybe if you were jumping recklessly but not high enough that it was fatal. She should feel embarrassed but that feeling was replaced with awe. She knew why he was here.

The view was spectacular. Riley could see how the land integrated with the sea. She could see those little cafes and bars with those dangly lights and from a distant a party with lots of dancing and laughter. From here it was as if there was good in the world.

"Okay I get it," Riley conceded, "It's beautiful."

The guy made a noncommittal sound before both of them drifted into silence. The breeze should make her feel chilly but the body heat of the guy protected her from that. It was strange; Riley did not know him but she felt at ease and safe. When the skies grew darker the guy decided to go down and helped her down as well.

"My names Ethan," he offered.

"Riley," she said smoothing down her jeans. The breeze blew and she felt her hair across her face. She quickly managed that situation.

"So why are you here on a Wednesday night with a total stranger?" Ethan asked.

"Because life directed it that way," Riley replied ignoring his tone and adding a bit of sass into her words.

"Ohh," Ethan said faking enthusiasm, "Let me guess you had a fight with mommy dearest…."

"No actually."

"Daddy disapproves of your boyfriend?"

"No," Riley said as she grabbed his lips with her hands to prevent him from speaking, "I just had to get out. Why are you here?"

Ethan mumbled something and Riley let go of his lips with a quick apology.

"Because a girl keeps bugging me on what I'm doing on brooklyn bridge," Ethan said as he rubbed his lips. At Riley's gaze he pressed on with an answer that was somewhat more truthful, "I have an appreciation for scenic views."

"You were gonna kill yourself weren't you?" Riley said hesitantly again, "There are blade marks on your wrist."

She had seen them when he was helping her down. Her face had immediately turned red. She just accused someone she had just met of doing a dark deed. What was going on with her? Asking a person she had just met whether they had suicidal tenancies was not at all polite or normal.

Ethan for his part just grinned before raising an eyebrow, "Would you have stopped me?"

She did not know if he was kidding or not. So Riley was rather pleased with herself when her voice did not at all sound hesitant.

"Could i stop you?"

"Touche," Ethan said, "For the record, no I wasn't...yet."

Riley ignored the obvious taunt. She was embarrassed that she thought that he was going to kill himself. This guy was obviously very self assured and yet he held marks of someone who didn't. It made Riley want to know him and see what was a facade and what isn't. The cover of the night really did make some people more brave. Maybe that could be the reason why the next few words came out of her mouth before she had the chance to fully evaluate them.

"I have a proposition for you. I'm not saying that life is rainbows and butterflies but you look like someone who needs to catch a break," Riley started, "Why don't we meet here again tomorrow at four?"

Ethan stopped, his eyes leveling towards hers, studying her as if he was searching for something, "You barely know me."

"And you barely know me," Riley retorted back.

"What if I don't show up," Ethan asked.

"I'll wait an hour. I can take a hint," Riley replied waiting for his answer. Ethan looked out faux thoughtfully.

"We'll see...if I have any plans. See you around Riley," Ethan called out before walking away from her. Riley watched him walk away before starting her way back home. What did she actually just do? This was definitely going to be the start of something. She looked at her phone it was almost nine. She needs to get home soon. If she makes it back without breaking curfew she shouldn't be in that much trouble.

The journey back felt a bit more slower as if it was dwindling with the night. Riley leaned against one of the cabin walls. She looked at the people there, did they know just how important they were to the people in their lives or did they feel the way she did? A bit lonely and a whole lot lost? Did they have a list of reasons in their head when they lose?

Riley took her time to reach her apartment complex. She decided to go through her baywindow when she reaches the apartment. Her dad was in her dimly lighted room sitting on her bed. She let her dad watch her enter. Her dad didn't look too mad at her. She defended herself anyway.

"Technically I didn't break curfew," Riley started before her dad cut her off.

"I know," He dad said, "I convinced Maya to go back home with Katy. Shawn went out with them. Your mom is in the shower."

"Okay." Her dad just looked at her. So she wasn't in trouble. She moved across her room to her bed.

"Riley?"

"Yes dad?"

"I…"her dad looked as if he wanted to ask her something but he changed his mind, "I hope that you still allow me and your mom to be a part of your growth."

In the dimness of her room, Riley saw her father. The wrinkles that were starting around his eyes, the laugh lines, the wisdom that can only be accumulated through years of joy, anguish, excitement and pain. Time did that to him. He is getting old Riley thought,there was a lump in her throat, and so am I.

RIley smiled before relying softly, "Don't worry I always will. Im little bit tired I'm going to get ready for bed."

RIley watched her dad nod before getting up from her bed. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly on her forehead. She hope that wanting him to be there for her will never change.

"Goodnight Riley."

"Goodnight dad."

* * *

A/N: end of chapter 2. So this is the continuation. Sorry that it took a while, aomethings have happened that made me stop writing and I think that it would be good for me to start writing again as an outlet. I know that I have approached some heavy topics and if any of you are truly in that mimdstate, I hope that you know that there is strength in continuing.

What o you think of this chapter? See you in the next one :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Chapter 3

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Metamorphosis

Chapter 3

* * *

The next morning almost killed her. Riley had to rush in order to reach the student body meeting that was taking place before school started. She could hear her loud footsteps echoing the quiet hallways as she skedaddled through the empty halls. She could feel her sweat making her clothes stick to her lower back and sighed in relief when she reached her destination. Good she was not late. She could feel the perspiration on her forehead as she moved to tame her windswept hair.

"You're early" a voice said amused. Riley looked toward Sarah who wore an amused grin at her state. Beside her Yogi sat, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Yeah and I see you're going for the overslept look" Yogi added. From the corner of her eye she spotted Lucas and Farkle. She quickly turned hoping that they did not come to her.

Riley blushed and said rather sheepishly "I overslept and almost forgot."

It was unlike her to oversleep and forget but she did and the hectic rush this morning was something that she hoped she would not make a habit of. She liked for her mornings to be peaceful and relaxing, it usually helped to set the mood for the rest of the day. But she would make do with what she had to do now.

"Well there is a first for everything" Sarah smiled. Riley made her way to the seat next to Sarah. She was about to respond to her friend when the president of the student body decided to start the meeting off.

Student body meetings were usually something that Riley would try to pay attention to. But this particular meeting felt like it went in one ear and went out the next. Her thoughts were consumed with what she will be doing later after school. Truth be told she had no idea what to expect.

Ethan probably won't show up and she shouldn't either. But Riley promised and she was not going to go back on her word. And she was only going to wait an hour. She could do stuff while waiting. It did not have to be a total waste of time. And if Ethan did show up, what was she supposed to do? She did not have a clue. And why was she obsessing so hard anyway? He was just a boy. A person who had peaked her interest in a different way, she had not felt interested in a human that way ever. She wanted to have a chance to get to know this human being. What was it that she craved from him? Friendship? A mutual understanding or connection to her soul? Whatever it is she hoped that she could at least figure it out soon.

Riley felt a nudge at her side and looked over to Sarah who was packing up. Confusion clouded Riley's mind before she noticed that everyone was doing that as well. In fact there were also people leaving the room. The meeting was officially over and she had not paid any attention to anything. Riley turned, smiling a bit sheepishly, to Sarah who just shook her head and grinned. This was very out of character for her and she wanted to explain why she was so distracted when Sarah said that she will pass her the minutes of the meeting later. Riley smiled ruefully grateful that Sarah was a very nice and understanding person.

Riley grabbed her bag and headed out of the room. She had a few minutes to get to homeroom.

"Hey," A voice called out to her. Riley turned to see Lucas trying to catch up with her. She wondered where Farkle went. He must have headed to the direction of his homeroom. Out of all her friends, Lucas was the only one who had the same homeroom as her and she did not think to wait up for him.

"Hi Lucas how's it going?" Riley asked as she moved towards him.

"Fine," Lucas replied. Riley made a glance at his face. Lucas looked as if he was wanting to say something without offending her. She felt herself smile a little. Even after all this time, Lucas still did not want to intentionally hurt her. It was of the qualities that made him so endearing. Maybe that was why she never harped on about her friends because she knew they would never intentionally want to hurt her.

"Spit it out we're friends. You could be as blunt as you want to," Riley suggested to which Lucas smiled sheepishly.

"About last night.." Lucas started. Riley could feel her shoulders start drooping and she made herself straightened up. Nope she was not going to talk about last night. The memory was still fresh and she did not want to pour salt on that open wound or have her morning to go downhill from this conversation. So she cut him off.

"I meant what I said and I will stick with it," Riley stated.

"It's just…are you okay?" Lucas asked hesitantly, "You don't seem like you."

Riley halted at the hallway causing Lucas to stop as well. She looked at him, aware that Lucas was also looking at her. That they were both trying to figure each other out. Riley might not know what was going on in his head but she was well aware of what was going on in her own. _You don't seem like you_. It was as if they spent trying so long to be friends that they forgot to get to know each other as people. When she looked at him she didn't feel the pang of sadness she did when they were caught up in the triangle. When she looked at him now, she didn't feel a thing. Was that bad?

Her heart was calm and steady. Gone were the days that she felt super excited by just thinking about his name or the days that filled with uncertainty and confusion after Texas. Lucas had never made his choice, of if he did, Riley was certainly not aware of it. She remembered her Aunt Morgan saying that not making a choice is sometimes a choice in itself.

She used to wonder all the time the what ifs? What if Lucas choose? And what if he choose her? Would they be happy? Would he be having his arms around her in between classes where they would share small tidbits, secret jokes, honest conversations. Would they be making googly eyes and suffer the joking harassment by their friends who would say they were vomit inducing with their cute too handle relationship? Would they be a power couple? Would they have stayed together or breakup because life got in the way? They would never know now. She would never know how that story plays out or how deep her feelings or his feelings went.

And now she realized that at this moment she couldn't care less what he felt towards her. She was alright with just being his friend. With knowing between girl friend and girlfriend. Not choosing is a choice.

"I think I am; okay that is," Riley finally replied, "Don't worry I know how to take care of myself and I know where to go when I don't."

That last part, Riley hope somehow resounded in Lucas's brain. Regardless of what happened, he was not the only person there. She had other people or places she could go to; that she could feel safe in. The tightening in his eye was a sign that he received her message loud and clear. She immediately felt a little guilty for hurting his feeling and was about to assure him that he was still important to her when the bell rang signalling them to their first period. Maybe the fates were trying to tell her something.

"Let's go to class okay?" Riley said as she grabbed Lucas' hands and pulled him towards homeroom. His hands in hers felt warm. Riley wondered if there will ever be a day when she will stop noticing things about him. She still cared and she wondered if Lucas still knew that. Maybe for a second she can pretend that Lucas was tightening his grip of her hand like he didn't want to let go because that would mean that he lost her. Maybe I'm thinking too much Riley thought. Maybe their homeroom teacher will announce something that can distract the both of them.

The day managed to go by pretty smoothly after that, Lucas and her had split after homeroom and today was the day where she had a separate lunch block with Isadora Smackle. Izzy was aware of what had happened yesterday but she did not pounce on Riley, instead their lunch was filled with both girls just relaxing and making small talk. It was nice to not have to filter her words the way she knew she had to if she were having lunch with any of her other friends. Maya would have probably demanded for her to talk about last night. And to be honest Riley did not know if she was ready to have that conversation at least honestly.

"So I'll see you at Topanga's later right?' Izzy said as they left the lunchroom and heading towards the direction of their lockers.

"Actually, I won't be there," Riley grimaced before quickly saying, "And it's not because I am avoiding everyone. I really do have plans today."

"What will you be doing?" Smackle inquired.

"I'm meeting a friend," RIley replied easily.

"Okay, I'll tell the rest," Smackle said before parting ways with one thing she had always liked about Izzy was that she knew when to leave something alone. Sometimes Riley feel as if Izzy knew when she did not want to talk about certain subjects as if she had seen her quiet growth and welcomed it. Like somehow Izzy was on her side which was stupid since there were no sides to choose. Her group of friends were nothing if not supportive of one another. Shrugging that off Riley stalked towards her locker. The day couldn't pass fast enough.

It was 4:56pm. She should cut her losses right now. Ethan was not coming and she should just leave. Riley was sitting at one of the benches facing the Brooklyn bridge, her book bag was lying haphazardly beside her. She tried to read the book her teacher assigned her for English but the words jumbled up not making any sense. She tried writing but was not able to draw any inspiration. Whatever she did she could not concentrate. She was nervous and anxious. She was a mess right now and she needed to clam down.

Riley rubbed her face and shrugged her shoulders before leaning back against the benches and closing her eyes. She should try to relax. There was no reason to be wired up. He was just a boy and she had had conversations with boys before, what made him so different?

The sunlight was heating up her face making her feel a little warm. She wondered what her friends were thinking. Did they wonder why she was not with them? Did they wonder if it had anything to do with last night? And how was she going to explain whatever this was to them? Did she need to explain? She should really stop overthinking.

A shadow blocked the rays of sunlight. Riley opened her eyes.

"You came."

* * *

Okay chapter 3 done. So hi, I have been a way for a while... the last time I posted anything was in 2017. It's 2019 now. I can't promise that I will complete this story but I will try. Life kind of happened and I had to deal with that. And in the name of being transparent. This is probably the first time in a really long time that I wrote something. So I'm glad that I'm starting again. I hope you guys are doing well and are happy. So see you in the next chapter.


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